It’s Our Anniversary
Wow…10 years have flown by!
My husband and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary and I remember the day we got married just like it was yesterday. We said “I do” one warm spring morning in May. I was so afraid. I’m sure he was too. I kept asking myself if I was making the right decision? Would I be a good wife and what would we do next?
Ours’ started out rather rocky but deep down I didn’t want to give up because marriage had always been something I genuinely desired. I had my own fairytale played out in my mind of how it was going to be. For example I thought having a Husband meant I had my own special “someone” I could manipulate with out of control emotions and unrealistic expectations. I also believed that I was never to be crossed or questioned in the wrong way. I was smart and of course I was always right, so how could anyone doubt me? I thought I would never feel lonely or insecure again. I was supposed to be catered to emotionally, physically,and financially. My guy was required to save me, but only on my terms!
I was selfish and self centered. I was also young and didn’t have the first clue about marriage.
I learned quickly that my husband was not a robot. He came with his own agenda that I was completely unaware of and I could not manipulate him. He wanted things done a certain way and we bumped heads more times than I can count. He’s always been a “take charge” kind of guy and during our brief courtship I viewed that trait as rather admirable. However once we got married admiration turned into resentment because I felt he was just being bossy. I wasn’t used to that. It made me feel like I was not in control of the relationship. I thought I needed control!
He didn’t respond to my erratic emotions the way I intended. He questioned and checked me on my nonsense. He was not one to be duped. He was also unable to relieve my insecurities or alleviate the lonely feelings I had from time to time. We argued and attacked one another’s character and motives a great deal. If it weren’t for the grace of God and His hand on our lives, I’m confident we would have divorced.
My wrong thinking was rooted in the wrong image that I had of marriage. I had to get a different view of my role as wife and marriage altogether. I didn’t grow up in a 2 parent home, so I got my picture of marriage from the outside world….. Big mistake! The correct view only came through the Word of God.
The word “love” was summed up into 2 words in the world; lust and sex. After the feelings of those words had worn off then you were free to leave, complain, or be unfaithful. Love defined God’s way is much different. He says ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails’…..- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV.
The world says quit when the going gets tough. Run for the hills when the heat is high! But God’s word says
‘Dear brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy,for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow.So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.’ – James 1:2-4 TLB
The world also paints the picture of the woman being the head of the marriage and family. Yet God’s word says ‘Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV
I’ve given 3 examples of how the world differs vividly from God. I could go on and on, but you get my drift.
God through Christ has challenged me to trust Him with my life, my heart, and my marriage. He has promised to make me full and complete, ready for anything! It’s a daily process of submitting my will to God’s and allowing His way of thinking, acting, and being to permeate me. Which also means I have to submit to my husband just as the church submits to Christ. In doing so our marriage has taken a turn for the better. I’m not as selfish as I once was nor do I have to be in control. My husband is doing the same. We’ve allowed Jesus to “take the wheel” in our relationship.
Today He is using us both in His ministry of reconciliation to others. We couldn’t have been useful to Him living the way we used to live. I love my husband and I love the role that I play in his life. I am also very excited to see how God uses our transformed lives and marriage to encourage others to lead purpose driven lives in Him. I can confidently say that God made the right choice…. I didn’t! He’s making me a good wife and He’ll lead us into our next.
Thank you Jesus for 10 strong years of marriage and many more!!